cuti sekolah.

hari ni aku balik ke medan lagi. tapi hari nie merupakan hari yang paling lama aku dapat spend dgn abah kesayangan aku. sebab, bile aku balik je, abah mesti busy itu ini. hari ni abah amek cuti. errr bukan amek cuti. dy suke hati je cuti sb dy boss. nak dtg ofis ke tak, lantak dy lah. yg penting org laen kne punch kad! keje keje!

so hari ni kitorang bertolak awal cket. sb nak ke kedutaan indonesia amek paspot. aku terpakse gak buat visa sb pasni masuk dept bedah. dah takde alasan dah nk balik2 mcm selalu. aduh sedihnye. pastu straightly dari sane, aku trus nk ke airport. almaklum le, dok kampung. jauh nak jalan nnt. jarang2 abah tanye "anje, awk nak beli ape?" tp sb aku badmood sb kne marah ng mama, aku pun ckp "entah". tp ia hanye mengambil mase tak sampai 1 menit utk aku mengubah statement menjadi "nak bli biskut, makanan" sb aku smpt berpikir dgn sepantas kilat, abah tgh offer tu, kang dy tarek balik, naye!

kitorg drop kan arep kt pavillion. poyo je janji ng kawan nk jupe jam 10 pagi. last2 dy dtg kol 2.30 ptg. mmg lah ktorg adek bradek ni tak bole buat janji. musti extend punye lah! haha. pastu abah cakap "awk nk beli brg kt mane anje?". aku pun ckp sni pun bole, tp parking teruk sgt. pastu abah ckp " jum kite pergi the mall la. abah suke the mall" haa pastu dy start la bercerita....

"awak taw tak sape je yg pergi the mall? tak semua org taw. ade beberapa type je org yg suke pegi the mall. org yg tak kesah harge. ambil je pastu byr."

pastu aku pun reply le, "ye lah abah, sb the mall tu takde pilihan. ade parkson grand je, ade itu ini je. so org takde pilihan. klu kat tmpt laen dy boleh compare harge." hehe bestnye aku. aku takmau abah aku menang. bapak lawyer, anak lawyer buruk. pastu abah just agreed. yes yes, 1-0!

ktorg pun smp the mall. aku suke la msk cold storage dy. byk gle biskut sedap. biskut kecik2 pun da dkat rm20. takpe, just grab. encik radzi ade! hihihi. pastu aku pun memenuhkan bakul. time nak bayar aku dah panik. kelibat bapak aku yg hensem tidak kelihatan. mati kot aku nk kne bayar semua! so aku cari la abah. "abah, nak duit" aku meminta dgn gaye penuh manja dan suare yg di kontrol lunak agar sedap di dgr oleh cuping telinga. "nah"... kate abah smbl menghulurkan sekeping. "haaaa, mane cukup sekeping abah! nk lg sekeping"aku hampir putus napas. bakul aku penuh kot! sme biskot pun berbelas2 hengget!"ape yg awk amek mahal sgt?" abah seraye berkate. " laaa kan abah cakap tak kesah harge, amek je, bayar... anje pn amek la.." haaa kan da makan tuan! dah 2-0!

so aku dgn hepinye dpt amek biskut bebanyak. mmg best la soping ngan abah. klu mama ni bw gi giant. hehe tu pn kne ade panduan dan peraturan dlm membeli. hihihi. sori mama. tp bile aku amek je ape aku nak, taruk kt kaunter, mama bayar gak! tq mama, luv you, mwah mwah!

pastu abah ajak lepak2 minum jap smbil tunggu nk jumpe pakcik sayuti. on the way nk g kdai tu, jupe la beberapa org kwn abah. abah slalu kenalkan " ni anak saye". jwpn yg aku dpt utk org yg pertama adalah: "oh cuti skolah ye?" hurmmm aku da tak skolah okey!!!!. pastu jumpe plak membe2 lepak abah. dato itu dato ini. " yes dato' ibrahim, this is my daughter.". abah introduced me. jwpn: "wah, rajen lawyer kita bawak anak jalan shoping. cuti skolah ye?"abah senyum. aku senyum. dlm hati, sape yg tahuuuu!

STPM?!

tadi aku ke maybank sg.buloh. nak setelkan hal maybank2u aku yg dok lekat je tak leh nk akses. saket otak jap. pastu smpi je kt kaunter, aku tny la kt officer situ. pasal masalah aku nie la. pastu saje kot dy nak borak2. dy pun tny la. umo awak brape. tersipu2 aku cakap umo da 20+++ ni. haha malu kot umo da tue. kakak tu n pakgad tu terkejut. "laa ingt kan baru pas STPM"... errrrr aku sepatutnye, hepi, bangge, ke sedih haa?

grateful!

i got an email from Maybank2u officer due to my inquiry last day. i cant access my online account. i tried a lot of time and failed. my cellphone number is also out of service which means all further transaction is not allowed (but i still can accept money from others). so i read carefully. it doesnt help anyway because i didnt give my full details and data that needed. but yet, the email really comforting me. as i scroll down my track ball, i can see the officer name. at the glance, i was thinking that the email wasnt from the officer, but they have the format to reply for every inquiry. but then, i think that they made an effort to reply to make people satisfy (and also because their own duty), so why not i thank them (i still believe the team wrote those, not the officer). people give their gratitude not only when they satisfied enough, but when they've been touch by others that concern with us. eventhough i just receive an email and didnt see the person, i still appreciate the willingness to help although i knew it's one of their duty and job. so i did replied, and say some appreciatiton for what they did. and at the bottom of the email, i stated as:

Regards,
Dr. Siti Aishah Md. Radzi.

am not a qualified doctor yet, but about to receive my medical degree in 4 months time. and then, i can put the title legally. but who cares, am going to be a doctor anyway. and when i read it once again, i felt the adrenaline pumped to the whole body. i just cant believe that am going to be a doctor. after 6 years of study, after 72 months of being far away from home, after 288 weeks of survival with lots of problems and after 2016 days of getting new experiences, i cant land my wings. i didnt fly to far or to high, but i have to land to get new experiences. then, i can fly again to places that i love and touch the sky once again!

p/s: have to accept the reality that i am not into medicine. but i promise to keep the title, use the knowledge for the sake of human being. i took the responsibilities, and those are still mine. i didnt choose the path by my own decision, but i am on the track and have to keep on walking. i dont know what will happen to me if i took the road not taken, but i do realise i pick a good one. a real good one. and am grateful for it.

ergh~

aku rase da banyak kali kot aku cakap aku agak nyesal amek medik. hurm, agak yek? actually am not into medik sgt la. tp.. hurm takpe la. ade 4 bulan je blaja lagi. then, serve the goverment pastu cari another job. eh bukan. i wanna do things dat i love! ni nak cite cket kejadian hari nie. dlu2 aku cam suke forensik pasal banyak sgt terpengaruh ngan cite katun Conan. pastu cite2 menyiasat laen la. tak saba aku nk masuk departemen forensik. so smalam aku masuk la forensik untuk 4 minggu ke depan. sbb ade prob dgn admin (birokrasi..huhu cmne la) so kitorang masuk lambat. jadi tak dpt tgk ape yg berlaku hari tu. tp memula masuk je pintu luar, da bau busukkkkkkk sgttttttttt. bile da time balik, baru si kawan cite ade mayat drowning baru kuakan. hari ahad br masuk. oh alaaaaah!

td time kitorg sebok2 brgosip, bace magazine, tbe2 dokter panggil. cakap mayat semalam da siap untuk di autopsy. errrrrkkkkk. bukak je pintu bilik ktorg, bau semerbak. so ktorg masuk la ruangan autopsy. speechless. aku tataw cmne nk gambarkan bau dy. ade sorang brader ni siap muntah. aku mule start psiko kan diri cakap "tahan anje.. ni bkan bau busuk.. busuk pun tak sangat.. ko still bole tahan.. jangan muntah..." al hasil, aku berjaye kawal emosi. pastu jap2 dok bau kopi. tapi kopi tu pun da bau mayat! aduyaaaaai!

aku rase nyilu, ngeri kot mase tgk sme proses autopsy tu. taknak cite la sb tanak ingat. tp paling buat aku tak lalu makan, mase dy gunting otak pastu mengalir keluar macam bubur. belum lagi time da bukak costa, dy tarek sgale organ vital. hurm. nak describe, tapi tanak la. nnt aku termimpi2. makan kue teow td pun aku terbayang otak jadi bubur. urgh. pastu, hasil autopsy dpt la jumpe trauma tumpul. ditandai adenye darah beku kat selaput otak. pastu sebelum otak dy mengalir, memang ade jumpe darah clotting. dan tak dijumpai adenye tanda2 drowning. maksudnye bukan la air yg menyebabkan kematian dy. tp si mayat mati kne pukul kat pale, baru di tenggelamkan.

aku rase tu je kot. baju aku abes sme bau. melekat. tanak hilang. waktu spnjg autopsy tu aku tak abes2 nyesal nape la aku amek medik. haha.

p/s: semoga Allah mengampunkan segala dosa si mati tidak kira agama dan bangsa. cara mati dah menyayat hati, nama pun masih Mr. X sebab identiti blum berjaya di kenal pasti. to people out there, jagalah ahli keluarga saudara mara dan sahabat handai kite baek2. laporkan cepat2 klu ade yang hilang. dan jangan sampai di autopsy. sian kt jenazah. dan semoga Allah memberkati segala usaha doktor dan ahli medis dlm bidang berkaitan (forensik) sebab dorg da bantu jenazah utk mendapat ape yang menjadi hak milik mereka, iaitu kebenaran tentang kematian. dan semoga Allah menjauhkan kita dari segala yang buruk. dengan izin-Nya, segala sesuatu itu adalah pasti.

mommies!

hurmmm.. last post aku ade cakap nk ltak pix hasil godekan aku..tp tbe2 usb external aku menyembunyikan diri. so tak leh la aku uplod pix yg menggamit memori tersebut. aduyaiii..

so takpelah. nanti aku da kemas2 bilik mesti jumpe balik kot. hehe.

so kat entry kali ni aku nk cite pasal movie yang aku tengok smlm. "Motherhood", Uma Thurman yang blakon. tgk cover dy macam lawak jenaka. so aku pun tertarek la nk membeli. so smpi umah, aku pun layan la cite nie. cite dy sgt la slowwww, tp aku tak mengantok pasal ak dah terpuas tido malam sebelumnye, pagi sebelumnye da siang sebelumnye. hehe. so tadah je la mate kan?

papepun, byk scene yg aku rase best dan menyentuh perasaan(haha aku rase sme movie aku tgk pn pasti tersentuh hati kecik ku ini). dan bile melayan menonton, maken membuat aku rase nak having my own kids. hahaha. mcm gile plak. tapi nk rase all the experinces. but yet, macam takut je nk jadi mak orang nie. diri sndiri pn blum terurus kot. badan pun maken kurus. aduyai.

tp aku dapat byk moral values dari cite nie. banyak pengorbanan yang dilakukan oleh parents for their kids. they have their own dreams, tapi terpakse lupekan demi anak2. aku teringat, mende nie pnah di quote kan oleh sorang guest kat Oprah Winfrey Show season bape tah. mase tu aku rase sgt terharu. mase tu je la. skang da ilang di bawa angen bayu. haha. papepun, kite akan melangkah ke dunia baru pas da ada anak. sebab tu kena sentiasa belajar dan banyak membaca. how to be a good parents, how to deal with kids' emotions, jow to hold your angriness towards kids and so on la. and im going to add some more year to my actual birth date this becoming May, so aku pun da kne start membaa la kot! haha. and aku pun akan dealing dgn kids kat hospital nnt, sambil2 tu belajar cmane nk ade anak sendiri plak. so, to mommies out there, well done for your good jobs of having kids, being a wife and also having real jobs. happy woman's day, and am really appreciate you!

p/s: i was at the boarding school throughout my teenage years. i missed all the things. i missed chit chatting with mommy. i missed girls talking with her. i missed gossiping together. i owed her stories about guys i liked most. i owed her stories about my puberty. i owed her times of beeing by her side when she needed the most. i owed her my shoulders when she need someone to turn into. i owed her bunch of thankfull of being a good mommy, a good advicer, a good companion, a good friend, a good listener. and i'll make sure im coming home this august and we have a lot to catch up, mama! i love you the most. mwah!